Setting Myself Free

I’m feeling SO GRATEFUL for so much these days.
I can even be seen dancing
in my studio and my kitchen for absolutely no reason at all.
Music not required.
(Hello, I’ve turned into my mother lol!)

All the hard work is finally paying off…

Sifting through so many dark bits
going to the places that once remained nameless
addressing the issues, the people, the pain
the loss
setting boundaries
telling the truth
writing
painting
writing some more
telling my true stories…
I FEEL LIKE I AM SETTING MYSELF FREE!!!!!

I know the work is not yet finished, it never really is,
but I have never felt so sure of my direction
my purpose
my calling
my reason for being
my raison d’être…
(more about this revelation another day, I promise)

I feel JOY creeping in the way sadness used too.

I feel HOPE where doubt used to weigh its heavy burden.

I feel LOVE where FEAR used to crawl inside my heart and latch itself to the inside walls.

The darkness is dissipating,
and being replaced by beautiful morning light,
the kind that shines through the branches of your favorite tree.

Here are two more events that have me smiling HUGE lately:

Owen’s chess medal for winning 4 out of 5 games at his school board tournament.
YAY Owen!  You are so much smarter than Mama…

Steve’s medal from THE QUEEN!

He was awarded the Diamond Jubilee Medal for his
leadership and mentorship with Soldier On!

I can’t help but feel like a winner when my two boys are oozing awesomeness!

Here’s to a slow and steady race.
Bursts of bliss instead of pangs of pain.
Self-made prisons falling to the ground.
And dancing barefoot while playing air guitar, just because.

Big LOVE,

  1. this isn’t even funny how uncanny this is. i was JUST wondering if this balancing of the light and dark would ever pay off. i no longer think it would be easier to feel sad and lost all the time but i still feel those ways. a lot. but i also smile to myself for no reason throughout the day. i also dance when i paint. i know that every single day brings a lot of joy but some pain. i know we can never know when something bad might happen but we can still appreciate and go after the good and delight in our own strengths. this revelation of yours and your ability to share it is the voice and the light i needed right now. i’m on the right path, i just keep thinking that at this point i should stop doubting it…it will come. the love will replace the fear for me someday. thank you and yay to you and your handsome men!

  2. Dear Danielle(hope this comes through!!): This post so made me smile!!! Big huge smile in my heart kinda’ smile:) So happy for you and your guys!

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