Post Memoir Launch (aka. Showing Your Insides to the world)

Hello out there! It's been exactly 36 DAYS since I launched my memoir and what an incredible journey this has been! The amount of sheer terror I experienced in releasing such a private book is difficult to put into words... One day I will tell you just how close I was to backing out and why, but not today. Today, I'm taking stock of the transformative journey I have been on since showing the world my insides. 

In the last few weeks alone, I have gone from writer-recluse in my tiny studio to speaking in front of a crowd of 20 000 people at WE FAMILY DAY! I was LIVE on the TV show THE SOCIAL for twelves minutes, sharing the story of my family and my book, speaking my truth in front of the WHOLE COUNTRY. Since October 1st, the day after my my book was released, I have received dozens and dozens of messages and emails from friends and strangers and learned that my book is now required reading at a University in a Social Work Class! I have heard from military wives, civilian wives, wives of miners and police officers, single moms, divorced moms, single women, single divorced women, so many wonderful women, people who live with disabilities, and even men. People have shared their experiences with me about their own journeys and pain and healing. I have been humbled by their sharing. All of them have blown me away by their openness, their kind words and their support for this book and this life. It took me YEARS to write this memoir, but hearing how readers could not put it down and sacrificed sleep in order to finish it in ONE DAY is now the BEST compliment I could ever receive! 

I thought people would hate me. But what I have learned is that when you write from such a gut-wrenching, vulnerable and honest place, people tend to meet you there too. This has been such a blessing for me, to learn this. We don't have to go it alone. We REALLY don't. Sharing our stories connects us. Connection heals us. And sometimes doing the thing that scares you the MOST can actually be the thing that FINALLY completely frees you! 

I want to share the interview I did on The Social (I think you can only view it in Canada, sorry.) along with a couple of other really fun interview with Jessica Allen from The Social, and a CBC radio interview where my book was recommended along with Giller nominated books and GG books (WHAT?) and hearing the genuine appreciation for my memoir in this woman's voice (Kerry Clare from 49th Shelf and Pickle Me This) was the BEST sound a girl could ever hear! I had tears in my eyes... yup. I have a couple of other really exciting things lined-up but I will save that for another day. Today, I just want to say thank-you from my WHOLE FREAKING HEART, thank-you to EVERY single person who has read my book and who has supported this spectacular journey. I am so grateful you guys. I wish I could hug every single one of you. d. xo

PS. The E-BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE TOO!  You can now get my book in seconds here!

INVICTUS GAMES


I am back from 9 days in Orlando, Florida where the Invictus Games were held. These games were created by Prince Harry to support wounded soldiers with physical and invisible wounds. My husband Steve Daniel competed for Team Canada in the indoor rowing event. This is only the second time these Games have occurred, the first ones were held in the UK and the next ones will be held in my home country, Canada!

I wasn't sure what to expect as I flew from Northern, Ontario, with my son Owen. It has been years since I have taken part in anything military and to be honest I was worried it would all be too much, emotionally, that is. But what transpired in these 9 days was a MOVEMENT, a spirit of a people that I will carry with me, always. I have never in my life been so inspired, so moved, and felt so undeniably supported. Often times, we feel isolated as we go through our day. People often stare or look at us with pity, but, at the Invictus Games, we were one of hundreds. We were among family. Almost all of the men and women there were wounded due to their service in their respected countries. All of them have faced trauma and continue to overcome their darkest days. We were united in our pain and our determination to move forward and onward!

Families were acknowledged for their roles in supporting and caring for their wounded loved ones. I have never received this kind of gratitude before and I must admit that it mattered greatly to me. It felt like a celebration for all we had overcome together as a family. A full circle.

Every single volunteer embraced us; from the bus drivers, to the greeters, every single person wearing a yellow shirt beamed with joy and kindness. All of the families and friends stayed at the Coronado Disney Resort and we were also given four Day-Passes to any Disney Park and one Waterpark Pass. (Owen swam with sharks!) Everything was included; food, transportation, clothing and full-day passes to all of the events at the Invictus Games. Multiple singers and performers. A private party at Epcot for friends and families with fireworks! The generosity was overwhelming.

The highlight for me was the Opening Ceremony, where families were seated on the field with the athletes. The tone of the Games was set and the intentions were clear: these Games were about recognizing the wounded warriors and supporting their rehabilitation through sport. I have seen first-hand how sport has helped Steve rehabilitate and move forward in his life after his injury. From the sports field to medical school. I know this works. Prince Harry is changing lives. He is saving lives by encouraging us all to reach out to others who need help.

I can honestly say that being part of these Games has helped me heal and given me a sense of closure too. It also makes me think how I can further push myself and set new goals, and help others do the same. Having just completed the final edits of my book 'The Dependent, A Memoir of Marriage and the Military'it was perfect timing for me to experience these Games. There is so much work to do to help illuminate the challenges facing injured soldiers, veterans and their families. I will always be grateful to Prince Harry for following through on his dream for the Invictus Games and for shining a light on the families who serve their countries. Thank-you for your incredible support Prince Harry and thank-you for your service.

And if all that wasn't enough, Steve won a SILVER medal and Owen and I were overjoyed to have witnessed it! It truly was a magical time in Orlando, one we will cherish forever.

It is only by sharing our stories that we can create bridges. We are in this together.
See you all in Toronto in 2017!

Meet Danielle Daniel, the wife of retired sergeant Dr Steven Daniel. In this video, Danielle shares how their lives have changed after her husband became paraplegic during service in 2005. Like many other spouses living with an ill or injured partner, Danielle had to find her own ways to cope with the feelings of stress and loss after Steven's accident.

IT'S HAPPENING



Here is a brief synopsis:

The Dependent is a true story written by a military wife married to a paratrooper who served in the Canadian Armed Forces for fourteen years before his army career came to a crashing halt—a freak accident near Armed Forces Base Trenton left him paraplegic and their future in shards.

Danielle, a fiercely independent university student, meets Steve, an ambitious infantry private. Much of the first years of their marriage are spent apart, as Steve’s infantry unit is sent overseas for duty in Croatia, Bosnia, and Afghanistan. With each tour of duty, the emotional distance between them intensifies. After four tours, Steve finally comes home to stay, but little changes: their marriage remains a difficult ménage-à-trois made up of a man, a woman, and the military.

In this deeply candid depiction of their marriage before and after a life-altering trauma, each chapter unveils an intimate portrait of marriage—one in which Danielle and Steve must navigate shifting roles and learn to co-exist in a space where the collateral damage of military service is absolute.

The Dependent is a brave and modern love story revealing immeasurable loss and grief and the journey to lasting hope and forgiveness. 


This book will be released Fall of 2016, published by Latitude 46; a press who believes in the importance of publishing women's stories. So much so, they are only publishing female authors this year. And, on this very auspicious and important day, International Women's Day, I couldn't be happier to share this news with you. This is the perfect house for my book. I cannot wait to share the cover and so much more!

I know I've been away from my blog for a while, especially since moving to this new website. The truth is, after being in such a vulnerable place for so long, I had to retreat. Regroup. I had to take a long break from peeling back my insides. But now, I am back and I am ready to talk about this book and about writing this memoir. I am so ready. Maybe you have wanted to write a memoir too. Or maybe, you also reach for other people's stories to feel less alone. I hope you'll take this journey with me. I've missed being here so much. I hope you've missed it too.