This has been an uneasy time for me. The advance copies of my book have been sent out and I sit and wait for the reviews and blurbs to trickle through and it is not pleasant you guys. Do you remember when you were in public school and you wrote a note to the boy or girl you had a crush on? Do you like me? YES or NO? Place a checkmark in a box please... That's pretty much how I feel right now. In a perpetual state of waiting to see how many Yeses and how many Nos come through, and it blows. 

When I was writing this memoir, it was only me. I created a safe environment to write in. I controlled the variables. Now, I control nothing (from the outside). I sit and wait for people to read it and then I wait for their words to arrive and I hope to hell they don't hate it because I can't help but feel it all (even though my mom says, I have to build a really thick skin for this next part). I wrote about my life. My marriage. The most painful parts of a decade, and, now I wait for people to comment on it? Mama Mia!

I keep trying to bring it back. I keep trying to tell myself that there is no way I would have spent that much time working on something, when it hurt that much, if it wasn't for many important reasons (the ones I carry deep inside my heart) the same ones that are often slipping away because I'm afraid of the unknown, of the what ifs, and of all of the possible Nos. 

No matter what comes my way, I know one thing for sure: I did my absolute best. I could not have worked harder.

I will not please them all and I don't have to. That's not my job, right? My job was to write the difficult truth, one sentence at a time. If only my heart could still sit inside my chest, protected from all of the outside elements. 

I need to check my own box. Every single day if I have to...



I am back from 9 days in Orlando, Florida where the Invictus Games were held. These games were created by Prince Harry to support wounded soldiers with physical and invisible wounds. My husband Steve Daniel competed for Team Canada in the indoor rowing event. This is only the second time these Games have occurred, the first ones were held in the UK and the next ones will be held in my home country, Canada!

I wasn't sure what to expect as I flew from Northern, Ontario, with my son Owen. It has been years since I have taken part in anything military and to be honest I was worried it would all be too much, emotionally, that is. But what transpired in these 9 days was a MOVEMENT, a spirit of a people that I will carry with me, always. I have never in my life been so inspired, so moved, and felt so undeniably supported. Often times, we feel isolated as we go through our day. People often stare or look at us with pity, but, at the Invictus Games, we were one of hundreds. We were among family. Almost all of the men and women there were wounded due to their service in their respected countries. All of them have faced trauma and continue to overcome their darkest days. We were united in our pain and our determination to move forward and onward!

Families were acknowledged for their roles in supporting and caring for their wounded loved ones. I have never received this kind of gratitude before and I must admit that it mattered greatly to me. It felt like a celebration for all we had overcome together as a family. A full circle.

Every single volunteer embraced us; from the bus drivers, to the greeters, every single person wearing a yellow shirt beamed with joy and kindness. All of the families and friends stayed at the Coronado Disney Resort and we were also given four Day-Passes to any Disney Park and one Waterpark Pass. (Owen swam with sharks!) Everything was included; food, transportation, clothing and full-day passes to all of the events at the Invictus Games. Multiple singers and performers. A private party at Epcot for friends and families with fireworks! The generosity was overwhelming.

The highlight for me was the Opening Ceremony, where families were seated on the field with the athletes. The tone of the Games was set and the intentions were clear: these Games were about recognizing the wounded warriors and supporting their rehabilitation through sport. I have seen first-hand how sport has helped Steve rehabilitate and move forward in his life after his injury. From the sports field to medical school. I know this works. Prince Harry is changing lives. He is saving lives by encouraging us all to reach out to others who need help.

I can honestly say that being part of these Games has helped me heal and given me a sense of closure too. It also makes me think how I can further push myself and set new goals, and help others do the same. Having just completed the final edits of my book 'The Dependent, A Memoir of Marriage and the Military'it was perfect timing for me to experience these Games. There is so much work to do to help illuminate the challenges facing injured soldiers, veterans and their families. I will always be grateful to Prince Harry for following through on his dream for the Invictus Games and for shining a light on the families who serve their countries. Thank-you for your incredible support Prince Harry and thank-you for your service.

And if all that wasn't enough, Steve won a SILVER medal and Owen and I were overjoyed to have witnessed it! It truly was a magical time in Orlando, one we will cherish forever.

It is only by sharing our stories that we can create bridges. We are in this together.
See you all in Toronto in 2017!


Here is a brief synopsis:

The Dependent is a true story written by a military wife married to a paratrooper who served in the Canadian Armed Forces for fourteen years before his army career came to a crashing halt—a freak accident near Armed Forces Base Trenton left him paraplegic and their future in shards.

Danielle, a fiercely independent university student, meets Steve, an ambitious infantry private. Much of the first years of their marriage are spent apart, as Steve’s infantry unit is sent overseas for duty in Croatia, Bosnia, and Afghanistan. With each tour of duty, the emotional distance between them intensifies. After four tours, Steve finally comes home to stay, but little changes: their marriage remains a difficult ménage-à-trois made up of a man, a woman, and the military.

In this deeply candid depiction of their marriage before and after a life-altering trauma, each chapter unveils an intimate portrait of marriage—one in which Danielle and Steve must navigate shifting roles and learn to co-exist in a space where the collateral damage of military service is absolute.

The Dependent is a brave and modern love story revealing immeasurable loss and grief and the journey to lasting hope and forgiveness. 

This book will be released Fall of 2016, published by Latitude 46; a press who believes in the importance of publishing women's stories. So much so, they are only publishing female authors this year. And, on this very auspicious and important day, International Women's Day, I couldn't be happier to share this news with you. This is the perfect house for my book. I cannot wait to share the cover and so much more!

I know I've been away from my blog for a while, especially since moving to this new website. The truth is, after being in such a vulnerable place for so long, I had to retreat. Regroup. I had to take a long break from peeling back my insides. But now, I am back and I am ready to talk about this book and about writing this memoir. I am so ready. Maybe you have wanted to write a memoir too. Or maybe, you also reach for other people's stories to feel less alone. I hope you'll take this journey with me. I've missed being here so much. I hope you've missed it too.